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Waiting

January 11, 2018

Last night I was lying on my bed

waiting

 

I was lying there

with my eyes closed

and I promised myself

that I would be

waiting

 

until this terrible anxiety

stopped

waiting

 

for me to succumb to its pure voracity

 

waiting

 

for me to trip and fall

and fail

myself

 

 

waiting

for it to be worth opening my eyes

 

Suddenly,

I heard a loud voice say to myself:

Why did you ever think you could do this

 

and then

something reminded me

that this was the sound of my

broken mind

overflowing with rational logic

 

I lay there

waiting

 

for the echo of my voice

to

get lost in the

labyrinth

of my own expectations

 

and then I got up

and heard my heart scream:

BECAUSE I WANT TO SO BAD-

 

 

 

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